Given the limited availability of free agents this year, and the Mets’ lack of coveted tradable prospects, Omar is taking a more drastic approach. Inspired by noted physicist Daniel Faraday, Omar has gotten his hands on the core of a nuclear bomb, which he plans to detonate on the former location of Shea Stadium. “We are very excited about this partnership, okay?” Omar said in a recent press conference. “We explored all options, okay? And this option–this procedure, it seemed to be the one that would be most beneficial to our team. We are not a losing team. This is a winning team. And we are always trying to find ways to get better. All we need to do is detonate this nuclear core, okay? We need to reset the past three years so that the Mets can be the best team we can be. And this nuclear bomb will allow us to do that.”
When the imminent “reset” occurs, it is expected that in the 9th inning of 2006’s NLCS, Carlos Beltran will swing at Adam Wainwright’s ball, driving in at least two runs with bases loaded. Once the Mets win the pennant that year, they will go on to easily defeat the Tigers, becoming 2006 World Series champions. High on that year, 2007 will see no glimmer of collapse, and 2008 will be similarly solid.
As for 2009, Minaya hinted that the front office was examining another strategy from Lost, a temple with what he is calling “healing waters.” It is expected that the Mets’ medical staff will be replaced by a Japanese temple master in a leather vest. Although no more information is available at this time, it is likely that these magic waters are all that could possibly save the Mets’ 2009 season. The Mets expect the temple to be ready by the time of the nuclear detonation.
(*Shout out to buddy Jared, whose photoshop work you have seen before, for his help here. Of course, once the reset happens, those banners will have never been created…)
I’m back! My blogging hiatus took a wee bit longer than I wanted it too. I was all set to come back raring for 2010, but then the whole Beltran fiasco happened. What a mess. But at least it healed the rift between team and front office and made the Mets seem like the awesomest organization for any free agent to join. Or the opposite of that. In truth, losing Beltran for the beginning of the season is a tough, tough blow. But I have high hopes for Angel Pagan, our Angel in the outfield. He’s surprised us before. Come on, Angel, save your inevitable injury for when Beltran’s back and healthy!
What made me excited for ’10 again wasn’t our player acquisitions–although Welcome, Jason Bay, I do look forward to watching you play, and hopefully you’ll keep Carlos B. on speed dial for fielding advice. No, what made me excited for Citi again was a commercial I saw during Hot Stove (how good is our KB doing in the studio? Great job!). Apparently McFadden’s is opening a bar in Citi Field. A real Mets bar. A place that hopefully will host parties for away games–I’d be surprised if Cerrone doesn’t partner with them for something, and they’re already sponsoring metsblog–and provide shelter during rain delays for us non-club ticket holders. Citi Field really needed a bar that everyone could access. Even that little bar outside the Caesar’s Club was Caesar-ticket only. It was infuriating. For non-beer drinkers like me, and for anyone who didn’t want to get wet during a rain delay, Citi Field kind of sucked in that arena.
So far, googling “McFadden’s Citi Field” brings up my own Twitter (I honestly can’t write “Tweet” without feeling like an idiot) about it only in 2nd place, and so I’m not sure there’s much info out there. But here’s what the helpful internet has led me to find:
The Citi Field McFadden’s should be on the LF side, and open to both those inside and outside the ball park. I wonder, though, if it will be like the team store, and so closed to the outside during home games.
Would I go to the McFadden’s in the city for anything non-Mets related? Well, no. But there have been some decent Metsblog parties there in the past, most notably in 2006. So let’s see how they do with a less…sure to win team. They just might sell more drinks!
I leave you with this from Omar Minaya, from the same Hot Stove episode that caught my eye with the McFadden’s commercial. I can’t help but laugh at how Omar’s trying to skirt the Beltran issue. My fave part is in italics. Good for KB for not letting it slide!
Kevin Burkhardt: “I think you need to tell us what happened with Carlos Beltran. Was there a miscommunication there?”
Omar Minaya: “I think the best thing to say about Carlos Beltran, I mean, um, first of all, Carlos Beltran, you know, it was report–Carlos Beltran had told me about that he was going to have that operation. We spoke about it. I talked to Carlos. Carlos, so we understand this, Carlos Beltran did not do nothing wrong.”
KB: So you knew he was having the surgery?
Omar: Oh yes. He called me and he told me. Carlos Beltran is very professional. Carlos Beltran can’t wait to go out and help his team. Carlos Beltran is a warrior. The other thing is, there was a problem. There was a problem in the process, as far as, and I say this, but not in the process of Carlos–not that Carlos Beltran was responsible for that process… I knew that he was having surgery the next day. I knew that he was going–he told me, uh,–and like with anything else, as long as the protocol goes through, we–the pro–the problem was in the process as how we got–went through the process.
Thanks for clearing that up, Omar. (At least he didn’t say it was Adam Rubin’s fault.)