My friends, if this game is any indication, we can expect some prime Keith Hernandez/Gary Cohen doozies in our futures. Of course, I hope the team tightens its play and works out the kinks. But at least Keith and Gary will make sure the smiles stay on viewers faces. Witness:
Keith: I have got the most delicious Tootsie Pop. I haven’t had one in so long.
Gary: What flavor you got?
Keith: What’s this, cherry? Ahhh.
Gary: Do you—do you bite them?
Keith: When you get near the chocolate in the end, then you have to. I have no patience.
Gary: Well, we already know that. But do you bite them?
Keith: Uh, yes. Viciously. And I’m very professional. I don’t chew during a broadcast. [Points to Tootsie Pop.] I’ll get after this during commercial.
Gary: You’ll be licking it until we get to between innings, and then you’ll be crunching down on it, is that it? (Three-and-oh now to Beltran.)
Keith: You loved these when you were a kid, didn’t you?
Gary: I love them now.
Gary: But I would find it very difficult to coordinate speaking and dealing with the Tootsie Pop.
Keith: I don’t have a problem with that.
Gary: I think you have a great talent in this area. I’m envious.
What’s more? Tonight we learned that Keith’s added purple to his scorecard palette. Hot.
I’ll be back soon. But until then, I’ll leave you with Keith. Contemplating the Tootsie. xoxo.