Wooing Zito

Zito_2In this inflated pitching market, Omar Minaya has resorted to an unpredictable strategy in wooing Barry Zito. Our creative and wily GM has offered Zito an unusual bonus package laden with incentives. Only one blogger has received access to this list of perks the Mets plan to offer Mr. Zito. Can you guess who?

Barry Zito’s Come to New York Incentive Package:

1. Every day, he gets a free burrito.

2. Along with packages of both Cheetos and Fritos.

3. All-inclusive luxury trips to Lido, Sausalito, and Toledo.

4. An action figure of Greedo.

5. A lifetime supply of bug spray to ward against any mosquito.

6. A perfectly tailored tuxedo.

7. A signed presidential veto.

8. A Speedo.

9. Infinite Viagra for a heightened libido.

10. A vintage WWII era torpedo.

11. His own personal valet, a genuine NY guido.

12. A pillow embroidered with his favorite credo.

What do you think–enough to draw Mr. Zito to New York Cito?





  1. william.radie@yahoo.com

    Missed you.

    I am sort of ashamed to mention that it took me until #5 to realize you were just ryming with Zito. I was confused by some of the items up until then.

    Still a pretty good job of ryming Zito.

    My favorite?

    New York Cito!

    I dont care that it didnt rhyme. It was clever.

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